epsiode 26

Faith's post-Christmas, Christmas Carol

I know that in theory the first column of 2008 should be about my New Year's resolutions, or who I snogged on New Year's eve (no-one actually) but instead, as I sat and watched The Muppet Christmas Carol (yes I know but I do seem to watch it every year), I thought about my Christmas Carol. We all know the classic story; Michael Cain gets saved by Kermit the frog. OK, perhaps not, Scrooge is a miserable man who is saved through the ghost of Christmas past, present and future.
I'm not Scrooge, I'm really nothing like him. I'm not miserable, and I don't know anyone called Tiny Tim. Although there was this guy once called Tim and let's say he wasn't exactly big. Um, where was I? So as I watched the movie I realised that more than New Year's resolutions I wanted those ghosts to visit me so I could fully put the past behind me. Therefore here is my very own and totally changed version of the classic story. And, no, I haven't been on the cooking sherry again.

The ghost of Christmas past.
The festive period has been quite definitely cruel to me in the last few years. Which is unfair as I've always loved Christmas, and until recently only had great Christmas memories. I'm not trying to give you a sob story that an X-Factor candidate would be jealous of, but let's just say that the Christmas past ghost has been very unkind. So excuse the self-indulgence if you will.
A few years ago, after the turkey had been cleared away, it was discovered my father had a terminal illness. The following year was pretty miserable as it was the first Christmas we faced without him. The next year, continuing the trend, and as you all know, my ex finished with me just before Christmas and sent me home with a one way plane ticket and a broken heart. I mean, what was Santa thinking?
Last year, I was determined that it would be a good Christmas, we'd survived and it was time to break the curse, but my brother was taken into hospital just afterwards and diagnosed with severe pneumonia. It caused a hole in his lung, and it was all too scary and reminiscent of my father. So all in all the ghost of recent Christmas past really sucked.
There are times when things aren't great that you do wonder what you did to deserve it. But you know there's no point in dwelling on that. There are times when you fear what will go wrong but you also know that it's not healthy to live in fear. After all, doing that only holds you back. I really don't want to become negative but I really did want to fully banish the ghost of Christmas past, after all he's been hanging around far too long.

The ghost of Christmas present
This year I was determined that it would be wonderful not just for me but for my family; I felt we'd earnt it. Of course it is a difficult time of year, given its history but I wanted to feel festive and positive and see it as a turning point. So I asked the present Christmas ghost to be kinder to us all.
It worked. This year I had a lovely Christmas. It was a fabulous, quiet family Christmas in Devon. Long walks, when it wasn't raining, (which to be honest wasn't that much) and a Christmas Day was the way it should be. We were all in good health, we had plenty of games, visitors, chocolate and bubbly. We had turned a corner and although the gorgeous man I asked to find at the end of my bed on Christmas morning didn't materialise, (that pesky Santa) there was such a vast improvement from the previous Christmases that I didn't even have a tantrum about that. Now I was definitely ready for the New Year, and I was going to approach it with a smile, and a whole pocket full of optimism.

The ghost of Christmas future
As this story was playing out in my head, instead of visiting my grave, I visited the places where I wanted to be. This was going to be a fantastic year in every way. Career wise, home wise, family wise, health wise and of course, boy wise. I asked the ghost of Christmas future for all this and also no more bad dates. I am pretty sure it agreed my terms!

Laying the ghost of dating past to rest
Just before Christmas I went for a drink with a guy who was a friend of a friend of a friend or something like that. We met at a pub and I was early so I bought a drink, and took a seat. The man arrived, got a drink and joined me. As the evening progressed there was no chemistry between us. I know I am always being told off for judging to quickly but I just didn't fancy him.
There was nothing wrong with our conversation, it flowed but he was one of those people who was very serious and had definite opinions and wasn't exactly welcoming of anyone else's. It's hard to describe, he wasn't exactly argumentative but he came across as not just having a chip on his shoulder but a whole bag of McCain's.
He bought the next round, and then I bought a round. So we were three drinks in, and I was ready to go home. However he suggested one more round. So I tried. I really did. And you know, whether it was the wine but things seemed a bit more relaxed, and although I wasn't falling in love, the evening was easier.
When we finished the drink I said I really had to get home and asked him to walk me to the cab rank. He did so and I offered him a lift if he was on the way. According to the cab driver he was. So off we went. The first thing he did was tell me to put my seatbelt on. I tried to be impressed by his safety consciousness but I couldn't help but feel five years old. Then we dropped him off and as he got out of the cab he kissed my cheek and said that as he'd bought one more round than me in the pub he wouldn't give me any money.
I was stunned. Not only did I not ask for any money but it seemed such a strange and unnecessary thing to say. As if he'd been keeping count or something. I spent the rest of the journey discussing this with the cab driver who was very sweet but really quite old. He was more appalled than me and said that if he took a girl out he paid for everything. I said in this day and age I certainly didn't expect that, but it didn't occur to me that we needed to keep score. As we pulled up in front of my building, I went to pay for the cab and the driver said that he would take me out for dinner and insisted I take his phone number!

I have relegated that night to the ghost of Christmas past, and can't wait to see what 2008 has in store. Well I'm pretty sure I can't.