epsiode 3

The google Virgin

My friend met a nice guy one night and they swapped numbers. While she excitedly told me about him, she fired up her computer and went online.
‘What are you doing?’ I asked.
‘Googling him, of course.’
I was slightly taken aback. I knew about google, after all I’d modestly googled myself before, (more than once), but here I was discovering that google for the single person was a whole new world. The information superhighway has been spreading its use wings, and now not only did it give us internet dating but also pre-dating research. Googletastic!
Googling is far easier and quicker than actually asking questions. By the time we’d spent a few minutes checking out this man, we knew all about his job, his company and we even found out some of his interests. It was like an online CV with photos. I began to see how fabulous this could be.
Given my last face to face encounter with a real man, I thought that as I wasn’t ready to date, I might use this as a stepping stone, so to speak.
I immediately got carried away googling different men, some famous, (fantasy google man), some from my past, (google exes), some by desirable job, (google plastic surgeons), I even googled the google men. It was addictive and by the end of the day I was no longer a google virgin.
I decided that ‘google dating’ could really catch on. It’s safe, it’s cheap, and there are no arguments, even if it is a bit one-sided and you have to buy your own dinner.
However, my friend, who wasn’t living in fantasy land, (and who wasn’t as insane as I clearly was), was investigating a very real prospect.
‘So are you going to call him?’ I asked and she said she would. Google had ensured that the near stranger was now a lot more familiar. He had a good job, there was no mention of anything dodgy and according to the google research he was a pretty good catch. In fact I could go as far as to say that it was almost like we knew him already.
Hence the problem. If you google, then meet up, how do you hide the fact you already know so much about your date? What happens if you have a glass too much of wine and ask him when it was he first developed his love of Opera/flower arranging/white water rafting? What would he think if it becomes clear that you know more about him than he’s told you? Does googling make you feel or sound like a bit of a stalker? I’ve heard about women who employ private detectives to check out a prospective partner’s financial credentials before agreeing to date which seems just wrong, but is this wrong too? Is there such a thing as too much information? Oh my goodness, my short-lived love affair with google was already in jeopardy.
My friend (in no small part thanks to me) ended up worrying more after the google episode because, not only did she feel she knew too much, but also it made her like the guy more than she would have done before a first date under any other (i.e. normal) circumstances. Which in turn made her more nervous about calling him, and the ensuing discussions lasted longer than they should and we ended up a bit exhausted, confused and a little crazed by it all.
So, is it better to arrange a first date, meet a guy and find out things about him in a piecemeal way? That’s certainly the old fashioned way of dating, and it seemed to work before. On the other hand there is a certain security in information. You can never guarantee that someone isn’t a mad axe murderer or a Morris dancer but if you google, then you will probably feel that it’s less of a threat.
As the debate waged, I decided to google the man who was almost my rebound before we finally drew our conclusions. I hadn’t called him, after all I hadn’t coped well with the kiss, but still he was the only man I’d met in real life, so he deserved a google, surely.
Luckily I remembered his name. I typed it in and up came loads of results. I scanned the first page, eagerly clicking links and then discovering that it wasn’t him. I was pretty sure he wasn’t a 60 year old English professor, or an American Soap actor, or an eighteenth century percussionist.
After determinedly going through all the results I had to finally admit that my man wasn’t anywhere to be found. The disappointment of realising that he wasn’t of enough note to be listed anywhere was vast. There would be no danger of me meeting him and coming across as a crazed stalker with the knowledge I’d acquired. But that threw up a new google problem. Perhaps I didn’t want to meet up with anyone who didn’t come up when googled. Is that terrible? Probably, but with google things can get a bit like that.

So, to google or not to google? That is the question. The answer, well my friend found out too much about her perspective man and I found out too little about mine. For different reasons neither of us ended up with an actual date afterwards. It was a lose, lose situation, so from henceforth, I have introduced a google ban on any prospective dates.

Next week: Accidental Internet Sex