epsiode 18

The Set-up

Breaking up is terrible, and the most important thing for me has been my closest girlfriends. More reliable than men, always there for you and you can borrow their clothes. I have one friend who comes with me to most of the events, (although she is also the one who sent me to the Zoo); another friend who has helped me move countless times in the last year and is still doing so, without complaint (although she's the one who left me with the taxi driver). I have friends who warn me that I might never have a normal date and those who put me on internet dating sites when I vowed never to internet date. Oh, yes I am very lucky with my inner circle, and I count my blessings. But the type of friend that every single girl really needs is the girlfriend who sets her up with a hot man.
My friend invited me to go to a pub near her work because she had a colleague who was perfect for me. He was gorgeous and had a hot body, due to his hobby which was surfing. I was pretty excited, and was already humming the Beachboys by the end of the conversation.
His name was John, and when I got to the pub my friend introduced me to a man who wasn't called John, and then she went outside to take a phone call. The man who was not my set-up led me to a group of four other men who all introduced themselves. Not a John in sight.
A guy called Bob started chatting away to me. I tried to focus but to be honest I couldn't help but look over his shoulder for John, which wasn't easy as I'm five foot two and he was about six foot. Anyway, with my glass of wine, one eye trained on the door for my friend and John, I wasn't really focusing on the conversation with Bob. And I was getting a bit anxious because my surfer boy wasn't there. I think he told me about his job and where he lived but apart from that, I haven't got a clue what he said, I must have seemed a bit rude really although I think I'm actually pretty good at pretending to listen.
After about an hour, Bob and one of the other guys left and finally my friend returned.
'Where were you?' I hissed.
'Work call, sorry. Where's John?'
'He didn't show up.'
She looked at me as if I was mad. John had been there all along. In fact John was the guy who introduced himself as Bob and whose shoulder I had been trying so hard to look over. And he was hot, but of course I didn't think he was my hottie. I was confused as to why he'd call himself Bob, and why my friend hadn't bloody hung up the phone quickly enough to clear up any misunderstanding. I felt as if I'd let the best guy I'd met in a long time slip away and by the time I got home a tiny bit drunk, I believed that he and I would have been married and producing mini surfers if only he'd told me his real name. To say I was disappointed is like saying that Johnny Depp is a little bit sexy.
The following day my friend called me, and said that John/Bob said he'd left because I appeared not to be at all interested in him. So, I asked her if she would arrange another drink and she said that yes, of course she would. I wondered if we would honeymoon in Hawaii.
So there was hope then. And I almost promoted her to a higher position of friend than she occupied already (you know, from very good friend to potential godmother to first born kind of thing).
I heard nothing from my friend for a couple of days. I demoted her to bridesmaid. Then I heard nothing in the next couple of days. She would be allowed to give a reading in the church but not get to wear a peach frock. Then nothing again. She was going to be invited as a normal guest only. I left a couple of messages but I heard nothing from her.
I know there's this whole bunny boiler aspect to my character right now but this guy was seriously cute and he seemed quite nice, from what I remember when I actually listened to what he said. And I was exaggerating when I talked about marrying him, but I was sure that I would enjoy a date or two. And when we got this date or two I wouldn't come across as a nutter. Well as long as I didn't get too drunk. Finally I decided that it was a good thing that I didn't know who he was, because I appeared uninterested and guys love that, don't they?
My friend was now only going to be invited to the evening reception.
Finally she returned my call, and she started chattering away about all sorts of crap. I interrupted her and asked when was I going to see John again. She went very quiet. Didn't he like me, I asked? There was a silence. I pushed her again.
'The thing is that he thought you were fine.' Fine? I was insulted. Fine isn't a sexy way to be described, it's only half a step up from nice? Anyway, she suggested I meet her for a drink, and I agreed, because I was going to ply her with wine, interrogate her about why I was only 'fine', and torture her if necessary to get this guy in front of me again.
We met and she looked all happy and giggly. I asked her about John/Bob. She again went all coy.
'Well, you know you don't really know him so I thought it would be OK.' I looked at her. 'You know, I mean it wasn't even a blind date.' I stared at her. 'After all, you don't really like him.' I glared at her. 'You see, it turns out that he fancies me, and well, I fancy him.' I turned her into a pillar of salt with my eyes. Actually I didn't, I tried but it seemed I lacked the appropriate powers.
My 'friend,' told me that she really liked him and that she felt they really had a future together. And by setting him up with me, she prompted him into action. Which, she admitted she was hoping to do. I might have found it funny had I not felt so stupid. I didn't know him, and I might not have liked him, but he suddenly became very unimportant. What was important was that my girlfriend had been honest in a way, after all she did what she said she would; she set me up.

Next Week: Faith, Hope & Charity